The 12 Best Laughs, Applause, & Cringes From CPAC 2016

As bad as it sounds, it’s always fun to hear politicians throw jokes at one another.

We all love a funny quip, embarrassing memory, or awkward response (I’m looking at you Carson) from politicians. It lightens things up. It’s a break in the monotonous political rhetoric.

And boy, did CPAC this year have its fair share of it.

Throughout the myriad of politicians, pundits, and experts present at CPAC, numerous jokes came out.

There were some good ones. No doubt about that.

So I decided to collect 12 of my favorite CPAC 2016 moments.

1 – Hey Trump, Megyn Kelly’s Here

Ted Cruz gets savage on Trump, reminding you of Trump’s misogyny…

“So Donald Trump is skipping CPAC. I think someone told him Megyn Kelly was here.”

2 – Orange is the new black

There were a lot of references to Netflix’s comedy series, “Orange is the New Black.” I doubt most of the speakers referencing the show have seen it, but it didn’t take away from the comedic value, something Cruz took advantage of during his speech at CPAC, Friday. Making a big jab at Hillary Clinton.

“Orange is the new democratic blue.”

3 – Bill Clinton & Parades

Definitely my favorite soundbite of Friday. Kasich got creative when dissing Bill Clinton.

“Bill Clinton is the kinda guy that sees a mob coming at him, jumps ahead of it, and calls it a parade.”

4 – Inspirational Kasich

When addressing the youth in the crowd, Kasich got inspirational. His comments reminiscent of Pinterest boards often visited by basic white girls and their starbucks lattes.

“You are all made special. No one has ever been made like you, and no one will.”

5 – For those under 25

During his speech Saturday, Rubio spoke truth about older generations.

“Unless you’re under 25, no one knows how to use their camera phone.”

6 – Who’s the up in coming democrat?

While praising up and coming young conservative leaders, Rubio took a shot at the left’s lack of young leadership.

“Who is the young and up-and-coming democrat? Bernie Sanders.”

7 – Enter water bottle

And Rubio’s classic water bottle made a scene during his interview.

“My running mate, right here.” *points at water bottle*

8 – Caps lock battles

Dana Loesch got tough on social media Thursday morning, making the point that you’ve got to get off twitter and win people over face to face.

“No one’s opinion has ever been changed by caps locking them.”

9 – You’re for the children?

Ben Carson announced his dropping out of the race, but not without describing himself as “the children.” When asked after his speech two words that he would describe himself with, he responded with, “the children.” Apparently, it’s about that’s what this whole race is about. Admirable to be, but an unfortunate response (as our own Kyle Foley pointed out Friday).

10 – “Yeeeaaahhhhh”

Carson also had the most unexcited response to the crowd mourning his drop out.

11 – Maybe they read it wrong?

Carson threw in a nice joke about the preamble and the government during his CPAC speech. Honestly, I was impressed. Constitution jokes aren’t usually that great.

“Maybe the government did read it, maybe they read the constitution, and they got confused when they read the preamble when it says one of their jobs is to promote the general welfare they probably thought it meant to put everyone on general welfare.”

12 – Waving with one finger

And lastly, Governor Gary Johnson mentioned how much the crowds used to love him.

“People now wave at me with all fingers, except for just one.”

 

If I forgot any good moments at CPAC 2016, let me know in the comments below. And let us know which of these ones is your favorite.

About John-Pierre Maeli

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Freelance op-ed and longform writer, and managing editor at Refined Right. Focusing on discussions, not debates. Friendly neighbor fashion icon.